Folks, you would think most of these would be common sense by now. BUT NO, I still see people doing these things. I don't care if you are "too cool to care" or so ridiculously uncool that you have no clue. You still look hideous, and you should not be allowed out in public as now my retinas are scarred by your horrid horrid fashion sense.

Wearing Blue Eyeshadow This is one of my wife's pet peeves. Blue eyeshadow is okay if you are a model doing a shoot for Surface or some other arty type mag. Otherwise, no, girl, no.

Eyebrow Grooming Women should get a book and learn how to do their eyebrows right if they are going to do them at all. You see women with thin whisps of eyebrows, women with crooked eyebrows (Laura Bush, take note) and women with gigantic forests over their eyes. If you can't figure it out for yourself, spend one week without buying those stupid lottery tickets and instead invest the money in a professional waxing session. Men, I don't really see the need to do our eyebrows. If you have just one and it makes you uncomfortable, by all means, divide and conquer!

Take Care of That Mustache! This is MY big pet peeve of women. Yes I notice your lip hair. Yes it grosses me out. SHave it pluck wax it bleach it just please please either get rid of it or cover your mouth when you talk to me.

The 1980s called and they want their fashion back! I am still seeing people ROLLING CUFFS into their bluejeans. Nothing makes you look like a bigger geek than this move, slick. Also, for you ladies who have not had any transmissions from Earth lately, giant hairsprayed bangs are way way out.

Tone Down The Accessories, Liberace This one is for my fellow gents. Most of us get it. If you are gonna wear a flashy watch, end it there. A big ass medallion? Whatever. But I want to laugh my ass off when I see some dude sporting 3 bracelets, huge diamond earrings, and a big $ symbol around their neck. YOU may think you look good but TACKY is nobody's friend.

Invest In Beauty If you are lucky enough to have a woman who knows how to dress and always looks good, and if you can do it, always make sure the money is there for new jewelry and new dresses for occassions and never ever complain when she takes her time getting ready or picking out new clothes. Yeah I hate it too but to me the payoff is worth it when you go out with a gorgeous woman by your side.

I just want to say I have met very very few women who actually have the talent for always knowing what makes them look good as far as fashion and makeup. My wife is one of these rare people, not only that but she can change her "looks" as well. So if I sound a little condescending towards hapless fashion victims, it's because I've been spoiled by her beauty.

There is More To Life Than Sweatpants This is one is not so much of a big deal where we are now, but where we come from in the South, it seems to be an epidemic. Everywhere you go, people are in sweatpants and a T shirt. Look, I'm all for comfort, but people have to actually look at you, you know.

High waisted old lady jeans Where do women find these jeans that come up to their boobs and have elastic in the waistband?

I should do a future article on fashion things I actually like, for instance when old fat guys wear suits or something close to it. Yes, you do actually look much much better than the old fat guys in blue jeans and a tight t shirt that shows off their nice DD cup size. yuck.

It is interesting to note that some fashion RULES seem to be changing. Like the old NO White After Labor Day thing. This rule is only for old people and other half-wits who can't figure out how to make white work in the fall and winter.