Okay so last night I'm watching Stone Phillips do some special on the Harris'. A nice little family who had SIX babies at one time. Why is it that every time I see one of these stories the parents usually seem to already have a kid but are having a hard time conceiving again so they decide to spend the first kids college funds on fertility treatments and BOOM! now there are four, five, six babies in there.

And they always say "oh, it's such a miracle from God." No, no, my friend, it would be a miracle if God came down from Heaven and transformed himself into a swan a la ZEUS and had birdie sex with you and got you pregnant. THAT classifies as a miracle. Shooting up with hormone therapy or anything else really comes under the heading of "welcome to the 21st century".

Okay so now not only does this couple spend all this money but according to the TV show, about 100,000 dollars has been given to them in the form of donations one way or another. Yes, welcome to America. Fuck you starving Africans! We want our American families to have 7 kids and a nice big van! Why give my money to charity when I can give it to that cute little family on TV and their 6 miracles from God?

I think if they just stop parading their litters in front of me on TV I'll be happy.

You know what religion I really like?

Christian Scientists.

Those bastards don't play around man. When they believe something, they actually stick to their guns. There was a news story a while back about some kid who got stung a bazillion times by yellow jackets but his parents didn't take him to the hospital and he died. They said they don't believe in modern medicine and they meant it. Now THAT is conviction.

Not this whole "I believe in God but our prayers don't seem to be working, so what kind of drugs ya got doc?"

Did it ever occur to you that maybe God wants you to focus on the kid you have now and maybe adopt? No, no, I'm sure he meant for you to squeeze six little womb-dwellers out into the world prematurely and then have every company in the western hemisphere donate substantial goods to you. He certainly does work in mysetrious ways. Remember the good old days when God was all into plagues and killing off your firstborn sons? Now he's all about helping the 49ers get into the play-offs, condemning Tinkie Winkie to hell and yes he dabbles in fertility treatment as a hobby.