14 December, 2003 (Sunday)

6:17am



Decided to take a new direction with some of my blogs. I will be unapologetic about this. I'm sitting here doing my "internet things" and I just had my breakfast --- which is nearly always the same thing --- a protein shake. I'm a big believer in it because it staves off hunger, gives you plenty of protein plus carbs from fat free milk. I supplement mine with a teaspoon each of GLUTAMINE powder and CREATINE powder.



I was up this morning at 3:30am and I actually slept all night, a rarity these days. I get up and make my two cups of coffee (almost always something from GEVALIA but I really couldn't tell you the difference between the taste of that and something like FOLGERS.) I like coffee but I'm not a connoseur or anything. Kind of like classical music. I like it but I can't really tell the difference in styles unless it's a famous piece like Beethoven's Fifth Symphony. I HAVE found out, using Rhapsody's huge catalog, that I am a big fan of Chopin. His works are by far my favorite of any classical composer. I also like John Cage.



I played around on the internet and had some cottage cheese flavored with sugar-free syrup. Logged some things into FITDAY.COM



Tried to write a review on JoeUser about the game "The Corporate Machine" but it did not save my post. I immediately had flashbacks to two years ago when I kept a diary at OPENDIARY.COM and it used to not save and crash all the time. So I got fed up and kept my journal offline for two years but here I am back getting into the swing of things. Or trying to.



By 4:45am I was at the gym and on Sundays there is nobody else there. It was freezing outside this morning and my car was encased in ice. I used that PRESTONE De-ICER spray which, for me, is nothing short of a modern miracle.



So the gym is deserted , I guess because it's Sunday, but it is a FREE gym and it does serve more than 5000 people so I'm always surprised , pleasantly so, when I am the only one there. But then it kind of reminds me of that scene in "I Know What You Did Last Summer" where Ryan Phillipe is the only one in the gym except for the psycho fisherman who tries to run him down with the car.



I warmed up for 15 minutes on the recumbent stationary bike and then moved on to my Leg Workout on the Machines.



Leg Workout



1. Leg Presses (200 LBS) 2 sets of 10; (230LBS) 1 set of 10 ; (250LBS) 2 sets of 10

2. Leg Curls (75LBS) 1 set of 8 ; (90BS) 3 sets of 8

3. Calf Rotary Machine (110LBS) 1 set of 10 (115LBS) 1 set of 10 (120LBS) 1 set of 10 (125 LBS) 1 set of 10 (130 LBS) 1 set of 10

4. Hip Adduction Machine (65LBS) 4 sets of 10

5. Hip Abduction Machine (65LBS) 4 sets of 10



Then I walked for half an hour on the treadmill. Came home and stretched.



While doing my workout this morning I was listening to an old cassette I made called "Rights For Robots". It's music I made on a CASIO keyboard and a karaoke machine. The quality is not the greatest but it's long and it's fun for me to go back and hear. Also the TVs were on and there was some kind of 20/20 special on with them interviewing Joe and Catherine Jackson. Didn't pay much attention. The next segment did catch my attention it was about teens and designer clothes. I could read the captions. The girl said she liked designer clothes because they "fit better". And you know, in some cases, she is right. I mean, as far as jeans go, basic LEVI'S are the best in my opinion. They fit just right and once you break them in, it does not matter how stained or tattered they get, you never want to throw them out.



Where I live there is only ONE big store the next mall is twenty minutes away. In this store the sizes have what I call "Wal-Mart Syndrome". This is where a size small looks like an extra large. I think this is due to Wal-Mart being a ( I believe) Southern based company and let's face it, people from the South in the states love their food and love their extra large sweatpants and their beer guts. If that is your thing, that's fine. I'm from the south originally and I worked very hard to make sure people cannot detect it. Hence I actually watch what I eat and I try to speak and write with proper grammar. It takes all kinds of people to make the world go around I know. But I do not like the things that I was brought up with in the South. It has bad connotations for me. Poverty, chicken-fried everything, a southern drawl, racism, sexism, homophobia, anti-intellectualism, tacky decor, an abundance of animals with no collars or owners, alchoholism, illiteracy, oppressive religious beliefs, and big fat people --- these are all things I still associate with the South and I cannot personally think about without a shudder.



So, back to where I shop. There is only one line of clothes that actually fits me well and that is Calvin Klein. I don't know how it is that they have all these generic brands and then CK. Oh and they have Ralph Lauren too, both the regular line and Polo stuff. But RL is a little gaudy for me and plus have you seen the price? I don't WHO you are, I'm not spending 60 bucks on a shirt. Unless it can wash itself.



Speaking of which, I was very lazy yesterday I did basically nothing but go shopping once, go to the gym, and then I sat around watching TV and movies. Watched The View, Trading Spaces, Better Living With... and Homes With Style. There was this one house that was EXACTLY like what I want to live in. japanese-inspired but not in a cartoon way which so many Americans have a tendency to do. You know, laquered furniture and dragons on everything. No, this was very elegant. Everything was whites and creams, it was very peaceful and minimalist but cozy. I am going to see if I can find it on the internet maybe and save it so I'll have a reference for one day when I have my own home. The thing I hate the most about people's houses, including mine right now, is CLUTTER. People simply have too many things and bric-a-brac and it's so annoying and redundant. One vase of flowers is fine but a shelf full of porcelain thing-a-ma-bobs just makes me want to puke. And then use them to bash your face in.



You know where I shop they have Sean John too and I always laugh it is the most hideous clothing I have ever seen. When people buy it I know they buy JUST BECAUSE it is Puff daddy's label. Because nobody ever looks good in that. Puff Daddy himself wears Versace or Armani.



I watched Ghost World yesterday from DVD. It is such a great movie. I love every part in it. A friend of mine once told me the discontinued bus line is a metaphor for death. So poor Norman dies and then Thora Birch offs herself. And it really does make sense and it's a very elegant metaphor if that is what's intended.



Today to make up for my laziness yesterday I am going to clean up. Even though Mrs. F the maid is coming on Tuesday I can't wait until then the house is too cluttered. And I think I am going to the library and going bowling later. Oh yes and before I forget I'm still fat. I've set a goal of 130 and I'm going to reach it no matter what.



I am also going to start copying and pasting my entries to make sure there is some way to save them if JoeUser won't work. I had to do that a lot at OpenDiary. Not that it's the biggest deal in the world. People DO tend to get ungrateful. I mean, it's a FREE service and it's not like the internet is a NEED. It's a privalege. I get to blog my heart out while african children starve to death and soldiers die in Iraq. The world is a very unbalanced place.



7:28am

The coffee smells burnt. No wonder , it's been sitting there since 4am. I've been surfing JoeUser and I keep telling myself to do a little "puff piece" on two or three of my favorite blogs. It is true that a lot of blogs are just bad or uninteresting. And I guess different people will have different opinions about that. But I have found a handful on JoeUser.com alone that are VERY FUNNY, VERY Insightful and definitely worth the time to read.

I keep telling myself I have to "be good" today because I didn't lose any weight but it's so hard. I almost ate a Balance Bar just now --- and even though it's a "health bar", I mean, come on --- calories are calories. 130 here I come. So it's another cup of coffee. Maybe I should eat less sugar free candy, too. And I'm thinking instead of Diet Pepsi it might be better to make a giant thermos of green tea with Splenda to drink during the day in addition to my gallon of water. I usually drink over a gallon when you consider the water at meals and then at my workouts.

I have a bored, listless feeling this weekend. I want to read but I don't. I DON'T want to watch TV, once you turn it on, it's all bad programming anyway. And you just leave it on, all day long. I want to clean up but really I just want to lie on the couch and eat crackers and cheese. Hmmm. That's the real problem. I'm a big fat lazy slob at heart and I have to work so hard at being motivated and neat and thin.