Things I Have Learned

You know, I've learned a few things in my years on this planet. So I thought I would share a few with you.
You cannot mix silverware and stainless steel in the dishwasher. In fact, utensils are better off if you
just handwash them. The same goes for pots and pans. The best way is to just buy some Palmoliv wipes that get
all soapy when you add water.
Though they are both good, Diet Pepsi does taste better than Diet Coke.
When you first buy curtains, you should wash them to make them hang straight and soft.
Learn everything you can about money. Keep your receipts. Get organized. The few minutes it takes to keep on top
of this will save you a lot of grief.
Always try things on before you buy them.
When your books are overflowing from your bookshelves, it's time to get rid of some. Same goes for your videotapes,
DVDs, and CDs. Girlfriends and boyfriends, however, you can keep more than will fit in your storage shed. But it
may come back to haunt you later.
Any movie produced by, written by, or starring Adam Sandler is not worth spending 10 dollars to go see. In fact,
he should pay me to sit through some of that crap.
If YOU claim to have stayed up late and barely got any sleep, the next person to speak will always have gotten less
sleep than you. Or his job is worse, or his wife nage him more. Everybody is into one-upmanship these days. So
let's make a concerted effort to get back to Stoic Silence.